Daydreams and Ponderings

I think about stuff.  I always have.  I used to get in trouble in school for daydreaming.  I guess it is the direct result of my not being able to concentrate on things real well.  When I have those daydreams, ponderings, musings, or whatever you want to call them, I sometimes have some pretty far-fetched things appear to me.  Sometimes something I'm experiencing at a given moment triggers them like a Deja Vu thing, and other times it's like a train of thought where one thought leads to another similar thought.   Other times they just come out of the blue.

Everybody has seen the classic movie, It's a Wonderful Life, right?  While the movie has become a staple of Christmas, the meaning of the movie really has nothing to do with Christmas--it just happens to take place during that season.  The movie addresses the 'what if' possibilities of our lives.

Sometimes I wonder about things like that too.  Here are a few of my loose thoughts:

The older we get, the more chances there are that something in our past could have gone differently.  Imagine that in every second of every day, a choice existed.  A 'fork in the road' if you will--a place where any decision you made had at least two possible outcomes.  Something you saw, something you said, something you did, something you smelled--anything you experienced--each had a choice of some kind.  By the time you were 50 years old there would have been (I don't feel like doing the actual math here) millions of directions your life could have gone.  An almost infinite amount of possibilities.  Traumatic memories are things we would have obviously done differently had we been given the choice.  "If I knew then what I know now..."  Things that never took place are another thing entirely, like if you had bought a lotto ticket when you were in that particular store last week.  Because they never happened, you will never know.  But what if?

What would my life be like right now if I had stayed in one of the places I've visited?  If I had planted roots and continued to live in another state that I have visited--whether by being stationed there in the Air Force, or just by passing through.  If I had done one of those things you see in a movie where a guy is sitting in a diner and suddenly says, "I like this town... I think I'll stay here for a while and see what happens."  What if I had decided to stay where I was stationed while in Italy or Turkey?  I doubt staying in Turkey would have actually ever entered my mind, but living in northern Italy did.  What if I had actually stayed there?  There was a hotel/restaurant in the town there that was owned by a guy and his wife.  He was in the Air Force, married a local gal and stayed there.  What if?  I ponder things like that every now and then.

Sometimes I wonder about How many lives I have actually touched in some way.  I wonder how many times someone somewhere in the country (or world even) has--or will--refer to me in an anecdote, saying something like, "this one guy I was stationed with--I can't remember his name--he was the most awesome driver I've ever seen!" that sort of thing.  "I'll never forget this guy I met when I was in Oklahoma--Rick I think his name was..."  "There was this one smartass kid in school that used to sit next to me..."  You get the idea.  Sure, some of the stories or experiences might have portrayed me in a negative light but that's not really the point.  I just wonder.  To take it one step further, I wonder how many people had something in their life actually changed or altered in some way by something I did or said?  Hmm.

Here's another one that has popped into my mind a few times during my life:

Imagine your whole life was recorded and you could go back and watch any part of it at any time.  Imagine being able to study everything and everybody that was within your eyesight at any time.  The cars, the scenery, the people.  Would you see anyone you knew?  What if you saw your future wife riding the same kiddie ride at an amusement park?  Maybe you saw a crime being committed.  Maybe you saw a famous person before they were famous.  Can you imagine the possibilities?  There have been quite a few movies have used various bits and variations of that idea.  Those kinds of movies intrigue me.  If we could watch our life as a rerun, would we want to?  It might have been one of the most interesting movies you ever watched...

Or one of the most disturbing.