The Space/Time Continuum of Air Travel

It's amazing how much of an impact something can have on air travel.  During this trip over here to Sue's parents' house on the island of Kauai, I studied things that had a major impact on the space/time continuum of air travel.

I know there's a rule for bladder function as it relates to air travel.  Like the fact that buttered bread always seems to fall buttered side down, similarly, you always have to pee as soon as the wheels leave the runway.  The feeling that you have to pee increases exponentially as you climb in altitude.  Maybe it's an air pressure thing.  Most times Sue and I choose window seats, and this year was no exception.  That means there is a stranger occupying the aisle seat next to us.  I call him the gatekeeper.  Just the very presence of a human sitting there that you don't know keeps you from getting up to pee.  Just so I don't appear to be a pain in the ass, I always try to talk my bladder out of it.
"You can't be serious... We can't pee now--we're climbing."
"Are you sure?  You can't really under that much pressure--you just peed a few minutes ago in the terminal, remember?"
"Come on--it's going to be at least fifteen more minutes before they even turn the seat belt sign off, and when they do half the airplane is going to want to pee at the same time."
"It's embarrassing standing up and having the whole plane looking at you when you get up."
The flight attendants don't help things either.  They block the aisle with a beverage cart.  Yes, the beverage cart that gives you more things to make you have to pee.
Yes, I have observed that the very fact that you have to pee can double or even triple the duration of your flight.  If you don't want your 6-hour flight to feel like ten or twelve, you need to pee as soon as the urge hits you.

An uncomfortable seat can also be a contributor to doubling the length of your flight.  Just having a seat that feels like it's leaning the wrong way is all it takes.  I need to consider a memory foam cushion that conforms to my aging buttocks.  Yeah... That's what I need.

Conversely to the above items, I have found that watching a movie is a sure-fire way to shorten a plane flight.  Sue and I both went out of our way to put multiple full-length movies on our iPhones.  That way we would have choices.  Everybody loves choices.  I ended up watching a whole movie... Listening to a few songs, then watching another movie.  I actually almost got annoyed when we got to a point in our descent when they made us turn off all our personal electronic devices.

What?  We're here already?

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