Personal Dignity

Dignity. We think about it very seldom as we're growing up. The word dignity just isn't something that is a part of our regular day to day world. When we try to define dignity, we think of it as being synonymous with something like pride or leadership. Something like a captain on his ship--chin jutting outward, poised in a somehow stoic manner, and eyes focused on the distance to what might lie ahead. But like I said, thinking about dignity is not usually part of our day.

But, the lack of dignity is a whole 'nuther thing. I think the lack of dignity is the reason for the word dignity. It's a form of measure. It's a good/evil or healthy/sick sort of thing. It's a relationship measure. You may not recognize it when you have it, but you sure realize it's absence if you're suddenly without it.

I thought about that yesterday as I leaned forward on my elbows over an exam table with my pants down. You can guess where the doctor's fingers were (I'm just assuming there were more than one--I didn't ask). Yes, I was getting an overdue physical. As most people know, men are bad about going to the doctor. We're raised with, "You're okay--quit crying" whereas women are raised with the general spirit of nurturing. Females seem to all have the knowledge and cool that they need to monitor their many bodily systems regularly. They seem to learn to do it regularly, starting at a young age, and are probably usually taught by example. Men: Not so much. We have to practically be dragged to the doctor. I would bet that any doctor probably has two different ways of speaking to patients: one for females and one for males. Anyway, back to me leaning on his table in a vulnerable manner. To add insult to injury, he provided the following dialogue (and I'm not making this up):

"Whoa, your prostate's enormous!" he exclaimed. "Do you have any trouble peeing?"

"Uh, a little slow to starting is all. Okay once I get going." I answered. I was concerned but not surprised.

"How many times a night do you get up to go?" he continued.

"None usually." I said.

"Oh, well, that's okay then. I guess we can't improve on that." he replied, finally turning and leaving me to put myself in order.

Trying to make light of the situation, I continued, "It's been quite a few years since I could pee a hole through a rock. The days of good velocity are well behind me. Anything I can do or take that can turn it around? A drug? Change of diet maybe?"

He shook his head as he continued to enter data into his computer. "With the cholesterol numbers as good as yours you'd be hard-pressed to change anything."

The potential loss of dignity sounds ominous. I'm only going to get older and things are only going to get worse. I thought about failures of body parts, functions, and systems. Any one of them could trigger the potential for massive mental anguish. It's no wonder that an old man might suddenly turn nasty and lash out at his loved ones. He's probably just been handed news from a doctor that is the inevitable human mortality call that we all hope never happened to us.  He may have just been handed the loss of personal dignity.

When Roger Daltry and Pete Townshend penned the words for My Generation maybe they had recently experienced someone going through that very thing.

"...hope I die before I get old..."

Fortunately, I'm still fine. Blood pressure could be better, and prostate is enlarged, but those are almost a given at my age. Aside from that, the heart: good. Lungs: good. Cholesterol: way good.

My personal dignity is still intact. I hope it stays that way.