The Naked Finger

I had one of those gut-wrenching moments last night.  You know--the ones that give you a cold feeling of dread, coupled with a little sprinkling of vertigo.  You know what I mean.  When your mind screams, "Oh no!" (That's the rated-G version of what my mind said.)

It happened as I was getting my laptop out of its case.  Something either caught my eye or didn't feel right.  That's when I noticed it:

My wedding ring was gone.

I have always had a problem with that finger.  I broke it back in 1981 when my motorcycle and I parted company and I kissed the pavement.  I had just taken my old Honda 305 Superhawk for a breakneck ride down the street and back--pretty much going flat-out as I did.  Anyway, on the return trip I shifted down a little harder than I should have.  Normally that would have been fine, but unbeknownst to me the rear tire was a little under-inflated.  When I downshifted, it revved the engine, skidded the rear tire, and spun the tire far enough that the valve stem ripped out of the inner tube.  That resulted in an instant flat tire.  It happened as I was turning into the parking lot driveway where I lived.  I don't know how hard I hit the ground or anything, but I picked myself up thinking (hoping?) I was okay.  I found out differently when I went to pick the bike up and noticed that my left ring finger was pointing a completely wrong direction and in the way of one of my other fingers.  I stared at it dumfounded.  I'm pretty sure I was in shock.  I poured myself a shot of some kind of liquor and tried to sort it out.  I finally decided I needed to go to the hospital.  I had no real pain in it luckily--probably due to nerve damage.  On the way to the hospital I was sitting at a stop light staring at my defective finger.  Then I remembered how they fixed stuff like that in the movies.  I grabbed it, pulled it outward, aligned it, and pushed it straight back in.  Perfect!  I flexed my fist a few times, determined it was fine, and went back home.  It may have been my ignoring the hospital that caused the knuckle to be a little large, or it may have that way regardless--I don't know.  All I know is that ever since then I have had to buy an over-sized ring to get it over that knuckle.

Fast-forward to now.  When it's cold and dry weather my fingers will be thinner and drier and I find my ring occasionally coming off in my gloves or something.  It's loose to say the least.

Last night when the realization that it was missing struck me I had just finished putting a lot of pine needles and crap into our garbage can out on the street.  I couldn't recall when I had last seen it either, and that made it worse.  I drug the can back into the driveway and closed the gate behind me.  The daylight was fading fast, but with the help of a flashlight I found it.

Whew!

I would have cursed myself the rest of my life I'm sure.  My wedding ring is very important to me.  It's a symbolic and sentimental thing.  Losing it is not acceptable.