Turning It Off

It's a strange thing, but I don't remember having to get into the groove when I started my 365 photography project last year, but it's strangely hard getting out of it.  I think it was because it was a new and exciting thing then and I saw it as an effortless task that really had no boundaries.

First let me say:  I'm not trying to get out of taking pictures--I'm trying to savor the fact that I'm not forced to take pictures any longer.

The reality is that now I can't seem to get rid of the nagging feeling that I am neglectful.  It feels like I should still be sitting down at my computer and reviewing the "day's catch" to select the daily picture from.  Every day since it ended last Thursday I've made the same, lame statement at some time during the evening hours: "Oh crap, I didn't get a picture!"

It was funny at first.  I'll try to stop now.

It occurred to me yesterday how often that thought does pop into my head.  I find myself still carrying my camera with me almost everywhere I go, and most likely will continue to do so.  Oddly, the part I have trouble with is the fact that everywhere I go I still scan the surroundings.  While I'm driving I'm constantly on the lookout for something--anything--that is picture-worthy.  That's the trouble.  I don't need the "anything" part any longer.  When I find something worthy of pictures I will make it happen, but I don't have to keep thinking the anything portion.  The requirement part of the equation is gone.

A couple times this weekend I saw a neighborhood kid go zooming by on one of those little mini crotch-rockets.  We have seen it off and on for several months and I had long ago added it to my mental list of 365 possibilities, but during the course of the 365 project I never did around to attempting it.  The nagging feeling is still there though--Like I still need to cross it off my list.  I have to say that it is sort of an interesting and challenging subject to shoot.  Partly because it would be a panning action shot (and I'm not good with those), and partly because I don't know him, so I don't know when or how often he will zoom by.

I also have trouble with the fact that now I have no real blog activity any longer.  While I hardly ever got a comment from anyone on my 365 blog, it still didn't keep me from looking to see if I did.  Now there's nothing to look for.

I wonder if this is the same feeling that people get when they find themselves retired?