Suddenly, Mom and Dad are OLD

It's hard to see parents aging.  Growing up, our parents were our providers, our nurturers, and our safety net.  They were our rock.  We could look to them for anything we needed help with.

I used to think that maybe I was one of the lucky ones because my parents and I are fairly close in age (my mom was 17 and dad was 18 when I was born), but I don't think so.  If anything, our ages were too close and caused us to butt heads too often.  I don't think watching my parents get older is any easier to watch from the 'close age' perspective either.  If anything, it just means it's right around the corner for me.  I'm next.  I'll be first to tell you:  It's already well underway with me too.  I'm aging pretty quickly myself.  A lot has changed in my last 5 years.

My dad has not been the fearless leader he appeared to be when I was growing up.  He was always the opinionated disciplinarian, but mom has been making the intelligent decisions for several decades now.  He didn't always listen of course, but many times he had no choice.  She would be adamant.  In the last couple decades he has been a shell of what he once appeared to be.  His erratic thought patterns, his physical health, and almost everything about him has caused us to not be a bit surprised if he was suddenly found to be in the past tense.

Mom has a tremendous work ethic and always has.  When my dad decided that he couldn't or wouldn't work any longer about 20 years ago, it apparently didn't matter much.  We all shook our heads and rolled our eyes, but she took it in stride I guess.  She had a good job with the Auburn School District.  She retired from there with good medical coverage and that sort of thing.  In other words, the Auburn School District was a good thing to retire from (or with).  Even after retirement, she was always cleaning, painting, arranging--something.  There was always something on her list.  I think she painted their house inside and out every year or so.

Now there is a new development.

Both of my parents have had issues in the last couple of days.  With dad it was that he fell out of bed (apparently misjudged something as he was getting up) and hurt himself pretty good.  I guess he actually had to go the hospital for it.  What's irritating is that I never hear about these things from my parents themselves.  It's obvious that because they are both only children they don't understand, but when they have a health-related issue of any kind, they need to tell us.  I can count the number of times I have actually been informed of anything like that on one hand.  It just never happens.  Nowadays, I find out stuff on Facebook.  What's wrong with this picture?

But I've digressed.  Back to the newest development.

Apparently mom had a back issue that has reared it's ugly head.  She called it more of a Sciatica (I call it psychotica) thing because that's where it affected her.  When I heard (again--indirectly) that she had to go the ER the day before because of it, I stopped in on the way home from work.

What a shock to see mom using a walker.  It was a blow to be sure.  Mom is tough, and to see her like that was so strange.  Dad "slid" to his current condition slowly, but mom just got whacked upside the head with it with little or no warning.  She seemed to be in good spirits.  She was talking about how much easier it was to walk with it than the cane she was using when she went to the ER.  She had to walk with that using both hands in front of her she said.  While mom is telling me all this and navigating the clutter that is their furniture arrangement and living room lifestyle, dad just sat there, indifferently thumbing through his car magazines and other mail of the day.

Anyway, I tried to get them to understand that we're only about 10 minutes away, and if they need anything to give us a call.  Anything.  Will they call?  Probably not.  Things are going to be hard for them now.  They have a washer but have never had a dryer.  The washer is in the basement.  Translation:  Stairs.  Dad can do simple things, but she will need to give him full instructions, and I guarantee he will not do everything willingly.

You know what really sends a shudder down my spine?  Losing mom before dad.  I would have a hard time with him if that happened.  We all would.