Life in Slow Motion

I hate having to come to grips with the fact that my age now seems to dictate that I do everything in slow motion.  I have to act with careful and deliberate movements.

The latest thing?  I have to eat slow.  I'm already not a "wolfer" because I like to savor my food, but I do tend to do some serious power chewing (now watch it become a sport at the next summer Olympics).  At least I did.  Monday I apparently blew a mandible (like throwing a rod for you car people).  I was just eating pizza at Round Table with Suzie and something happened... I believe I dislocated my jaw or a  tendon went the wrong way.  Whatever actually happened, the result is the same:  I was frozen with a mouth full of food and eyes tearing  up.  It was very painful.  Fortunately I was almost finished with my meal, because that ended it regardless.  Even now my teeth don't mesh together right yet, but it's better.  If I eat slowly I get by, but I have to use my right side.  Now, as an act of self-preservation, I have to learn to eat differently to avoid a recurrence.

When I get up in the morning, I have to stand for a moment.  I stretch, flex, and generally give my body a moment to come to grips with being vertical instead of horizontal.  I have learned that if I don't do that I run the risk of hurting the tops of my feet (metatarsal?) if I walk immediately after getting out of bed.  It can take hours to go away if I do that.  If I stand for a bit and get blood moving the right direction I have no problem.  However, if the house ever catches fire my feet are gonna hurt because I'm going to boogie.

I've been blessed with bad cartilage.  I've dislocated both knees several times.  Fortunately, only the first time each of them blew was bad--Complete with major swelling and a week of recovery time.  Now if it happens it's more like instant pain/voltage followed soon after by a flood of warmth as the pain ebbs.  What that means is I have to move carefully when I step backwards down from things.  If my foot slips or my lower leg turns slightly wrong when the weight is going onto my knee the results can be pretty bad.  Now I get in and out of the shower slowly and deliberately.  One thing I don't want to do is slip or have a knee failure and end up taking shower doors with me as I head for the floor.  Could be messy.

I even have to brush my teeth more slowly and deliberately, but it's more because I'm reckless than losing ability.  I've actually had the brush (with my hand powering it of course) skim outta the side of my mouth and across my cheek.  It makes a mess and sometimes hurts too.  I know I've had slippage cause bleeding gums before also.  Now that I think of it, I have to shave more slowly too... Maybe I'm just careless with my personal grooming?

I keep seeing this looming in the inevitable future:

I've basically gotten to the point where I have to do all things slowly and with deliberation.  I don't like that.  I know it's good to think before you act, but it's a weird thing when you can't trust your body any more.

It seems like it will fail me at any time with no notice.